Wednesday, January 7, 2009

January Blahz

I know that the new year is here and that I should really be greeting it with much more enthusiasm, but I. Just. Can't!
It is almost as if the Christmas hoopla took too much and now I am drained. I have nothing to give, I am running on barely reserves, I feel like Wall-e after he was crushed and in bad need of a return trip to Earth for spare parts or in my case a serious re-charge.
Does anyone know what I am talking about?
2008 was really something that we barely survived, gas prices so high that we did without everything just to fill the tank, then indecision that cost us dearly financially and emotionally (yes I am being non-discript on purpose) and now the possibility that our house might finally be sold, but at a financial loss for us. Then blooms the new year and with it the change of my husbands compensation plan, I dread that day. It is the day the we find out how badly they are NOT going to compensate the man for all his hard work, quota goes up, salary goes down and territory gets cut again. I am trying to be positive and be grateful that he has a job, but I am having difficulty slapping a fake smile on my face. I know this is truly a depressing post but it is what it is......or could it be that I have shoveled my driveway three times today and it is still snowing?
Give me some time, it is like my approach to mornings; I dread the alarm, stumble through the routine, crack open a Pepsi and by say 10am or in this case March or April I might just be energized and ready to face the day/year again with vim and vigor.


K said...

Your not alone feeling the way you do and it's perfectly OK to feel that way!!! Your right, It is what It is!! I have adopted that quote as one of my favorites and use it quite often...It's very scary times for all of us....Keep your faith and remember, we're all in this together!:))

Heather said...

Oh, honey, I know exactly what you mean.

Both my mom and my mother in law lost their jobs within two days of each other. These are scary times.

One of the reasons we are biting the bullet and going to Disney (while the prices are good) this year, is that who knows if we will be able to in the years to come?

I try not to worry over much. I know God has a plan, and that He will provide, but some days are harder than others to trust in that promise.

My kids are asking that you send some of that snow this way. 'Cause Santa brought sleds and snowsuits, and no snow to go with them.

Take care.

RhondaLue said...

It's not a depressing post, it's a realistic one!

It's true that things are scary and tough! My dh took a paycut and we go week to week not knowing when or if he'll be let go. The dread and worry is an awful feeling and I try to prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and turn it over to the Lord. That worrying I waste so much time in never does me any good!

Having said that, panic is a tough emotion to just "get over" and I totally understand how you feel!

Here's hoping for better times!!

Elena said...

Oh, my friend Queenie. Yes, the cold and snow and unsurety of this new year can all lead to some very depressing thoughts. I don't even know what to say, other than I'm REALLY glad you posted something cause I seriously am missing you. And I hear ya on the morning thing. LOATHE mornings!! And just so you know, I sent my kids off to school today, went back to bed and slept til 10. The little ones took care of themselves and the house looks like they did. Best of luck with all the changes. I keep saying that things can only go up from here. We're all in this together, so I am praying for you!!!

Wendy said...

You KNOW I'm right there with you. Job loss at the holidays, trying to hang in there with my teenager, and trying to cope with worry and sleeplessness as I fret about the future. I'm trying to hide my "blues" from my blog -- you're more honest to talk about them on yours. Good for you.

I'm trying to get that enthusiasm for the new year, too, and it's slow in coming. That's okay! We only have to do one day at a time. I've been trying to write down blessings I see in every day to perk myself up. There's always *something* good in each day.

Best comment I ever got on my blog after I posted about our job loss - someone wrote - "Looks like we're in the same boat! Let's just keep rowing together!"

So, let's just keep rowing together. Sending ya hugs. ♥

EmmaP said...

omgosh! I have felt this same way since *last* january! I was sort of hoping it was just a phaze. But then again - maybe it's just life. and sometimes "life" happens, eh? Of course there are moments and people and things to be grateful for. but then there is also the crap. and i figure, i gotta feel sorry for myself at least sometimes. cuz if i don't, who else will, right?

Busy Lady said...

It's sad to say but I can relate as well. I wish I could have December back, I'm not ready for 2009. All this talk about a new year and renewal and I am just not feeling it. I wish I could just crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head. What can I say? We just have to push ahead and slap that smile on our faces. Hang in there, things will get better!!

"The Queen in Residence" said...

Thanks to everyone!!! You guys are the best!!!

I really do have so much to be grateful for, I have so much that others do not. I guess it just hit a point when another person lost their job and another just got diagnosed with cancer or lost their spouse and it can get even me, who is really rather fun loving and hard to get down, in a more somber mood. So thanks for letting me vent. I knew that here, with my bloggy friends, I would be heard and understood and now I can do what I need to do; do my best each and everyday, cherish my family, fix the things that I can and give the rest to the Lord.

Laurel said...

I always get the January blues. Last year was particularly bad. I spent a week on the couch in my jammies. I highly recommend it. Eventually I pulled out of it. You will, too. Until then just don't be too hard on yourself. You deserve some downtime. Do what you need to do to reenergize. For me it jammies and movies. All day.

Tiffiney said...

Girl I am soooo there with you..My hubby did not get a raise this money in the budget...guess we will see what happens this year...but trying to get back after the long Christmas break has been hard...okay I have been taking naps in the morning...what is that..why am I so tired...uggg...just want things to get back to normal...maybe next :)

Caroline said...

I'm sorry you have the blahs. There is a lot to worry about now, but as you commented earlier, there is a LOT more to be thankful for.

For one thing we have a Living God who doesn't change and who has our best interest at heart ALL THE TIME!

Here's a hug from me to you!

Megan said...

It's refreshing to read posts like this from people that you care about and know that they're human too. That sounds a little morbid.
I'm thinking of your family. I can't begin to imagine the stresses of managing a family and a home. Perhaps that's why I've stayed single so long. :)
Keep me posted on the move situation and tell Shayelyn I said hello and I hope that she's loving 5th grade!