Monday, December 5, 2011
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
For the second time that night the smoke detector went off.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The family enjoying the pool, I had worked the night before and with 4 hours of sleep under my belt I thought the pool was an unsafe arena for me to venture into, so I side lined the fun for now.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
See this beautiful girl, she is 12 years old today.
I cannot believe that it is really here. I remember holding her in my arms, this new little life and thinking that we had so much time to be together and my, how it has flown by.
So today I want to wish her a very happy birthday and let her know that my greatest joy in life has been to be her mom for the past 12 years.
She is my little sweet-pea and always will be.
Happy Birthday DQ!!!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Good friends guarding my piano and my Santa collection.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
You still love getting "TOYS" at Christmas and play with them as much as the kids do.
You raised me to love the Lord and cherish my family and I love having so many Temple Open House pictures with you and Momma C in them.
You are still a BIG kid at heart and love Lagoon as much as we do and are willing to go on the crazy rides with us.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
1 - She can laugh with me and cry with me but I know that I am NEVER being judged, just loved.
2 - She is an amazing cook and I love to come to her home, she always has something good to eat.
3 - We think alike that helps when I have trouble articulating words and she has her own language that I am privileged to know.
4 - She is an amazing person in all respects. She is so STRONG in her faith, she loves her husband and family fiercely and she is as loyal as anyone I know.
5 - She means what she says. You never do not know where you stand with her and I love that!
6 - She is real.
7 - After all these years, she is the one that I still want to call, text or e-mail all my lifes' worries to and she gets it and I can trust her with my story.
8 - She is the best roomie you could have and I love going to WC every year with her.
9 - She never gave up on me or our friendship, no matter what.
10 - She is my BFF, a gift I treasure daily and Thank Heavenly Father for blessing my life with.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sweet-boy so happy with his pumpkin and ready to set it out and try out the candle.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Back in August, on my mom's Birthday she got the news that she had Cancer. It was such a devastatingly blow to me, so many losses in my life already that I could not take one more, not one! But there it was in the call from my brother. So I did what I had to do, packed up my home in Boise, moved my family to Twin Falls and left to join my siblings in seeing mom.
It was so hard to see this feisty, spry woman who looked amazingly good, wear oxygen and be teetherd to a machine. To listen to her tell us her wishes for her death. It was all too much to imagine. And then there was the realization that mom wanted me to come and help her through this. Could I do it? Could I be the rock that mom so needed in her life at that time? Oh I felt utterly unprepared for this task, but my love for her and my need to not have any regrets were enough to make the sacrifice.
So I left my family behind in the hands of my husband and left to become my mom's 24/7 caregiver. I am not going to lie, she was hard, she was difficult and she made it very clear that she wanted things her way. My lesson was to learn to just say - "Yes Mom," and get it done. So many awful things that needed to be done; taking her to the doctor to hear the sad prognosis, going to the mortuary to arrange her funeral and helping her pick a casket, writing her obituary and beginning the process of closing out a life. There are times that I was certain that I could not handle one more moment, I wanted to run, far away and just ignore that this was happening. But I felt the prayers of so many friends, I felt the comfort of my Savior that I could do this, no matter how hard. How could I? Because in the end I loved my mom and she needed me.
Days went by and before my eyes she faltered. Each day was less then the one before, each moment became more precious. Her reliance on me more and more and the visits with Hospice closer and closer. Then one day, it was time to gather the family around and tell her - Goodbye. At first my one brother was so angry that I had caused so much trouble by gathering everyone - mom looked good. She did! She hid the battle that was raging inside her so well. She did not let on to how tired she was, how much energy it took to just move about. She was ever the consummate host. I told him to just wait, tomorrow you will see how much she has changed. Then he knew and we all gathered around mom.
She held on to make sure that loved ones had been talked to and then she nodded at me and said it was time to go. I sat with her, comforting her, swabbing her dry parched mouth and doing everything I could think to keep her comfortable as she fought this battle alone. Even though I was there that was the hardest part, knowing that she would do this alone. I could not go ahead and open the door, and make sure that her pillow was in the chair for her. She would be leaving me behind and doing it all on her own.
The night seemed to drag on and I prayed that soon, oh God, soon please come and take her from this awful battle. I selfishly wanted her to stay but because I loved her I prayed for her to go...... and oh how my heart aches for her.
I would like to think that mom looked out her window and saw that it was a cloudy, grey morning and decided that if she could not see the beautiful blue sky, the red-red rock and black of the mountain, then there was not point in getting our of bed and so she went to where she could see the blue- blue sky and she left us.
The moment she was gone, her home became a stranger to me. What was I supposed to do? For so long I had been running so hard, doing for her, attending to her needs that in the silence I did not know what to do. I am still wondering what I am supposed to do...... What does a child do when they lose their mother? I am only 40 and she is gone. My kids have lost such a great grandma. Many have lost a neighbor, ward member and dear friend and we are all heartbroken.
So I am home, looking at a mound of laundry that I should do, but I can't for my grief. I want to sleep and dream that for a moment she is not gone. But going to call at any moment and give me her advice and we will talk about the kids and mundane tasks of life and she will tell me before she hangs up that she loves me. But then I know, that will never be again.
So today I am numb. Today I am still so full of grief that it hurts to breath and I wonder if I am any good to anyone? But I will hang on and make it one more day, cause that is what she would have wanted for me, to go on one more day and then another and then another, cause that is what we did - celebrated that we had made it to one more day.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
So the man and I met at Costco to do two things: get a hot dog and drink combo and get him a card.
As we were walking out a woman coming in was smiling at us, she meet my gaze and I wondered what she was smiling at.
As we approached each other she stopped in our path and said the following,
" I love to see couples holding hands, you must be in love."
This comment stopped me, we always hold hands when we are out together and I never really think about it. Is it cause I love this man dearly or that we have been together so long that going with him and not holding his hand would seem like going outside without my sunglasses?
At any rate it made me wonder, is PDA just for the younger generation or do we have a better handle on what true love really looks like........♥
Monday, September 14, 2009
Before He sent His children to earth
gave each of them
a very carefully selected package
He promised, smiling
Are yours alone, no one
else may have the blessings
these problems will bring you.
And only you
have the special talents and abilities
that will be needed
to make these problems
Now go down to your birth
and to your forgetfulness. Know that
I love you beyond measure.
These problems that I give you
are a symbol of that love.
The monument you make of your life
with the help of your problems
will be a symbol of your
love for me,
Blaine M. Yorgason
Thursday, September 3, 2009
There are pathways through the house, piles of belongings that I will be putting away in a garage to wait for another time to come out again.