Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sunday thoughts.......

2009, when one looks back on a year does it ever seem to make sense, or does one just see alot of choices made in moments of panic?
How do I define all that happened in 2009?
That is something that I have been pondering, what do I look back on and remember the most about this year?
The answer to that question is also a hard one, for right at this moment I have regret.
Regret that I did not do enough, that I did not do all that I could, that I took so many things for granted, things that no matter what I do, can never be altered.
I also see times of sacrifice, intense joy, ultimate suffering, love beyond this life, moments that I hope will define me as a better person, moments of renewal, reunion and remembering things of long ago. It has been a year to say the least and one that in all my power will not be repeated, but there is also much hope in the year to come and dreams of peace for my soul.
But for today, I am wearing my heart on my sleeve, tears come easily and often, thoughts are constant in my mind and reminders of sacrifice for my behalf on the forefront of my being.
What was 2009 like for you?


Elena said...

Yes, you did have the year of all years I think. I hope you never have repeat ANY of the things you went through, let alone all at the same time. did it, you are stronger for it, and you made it!!
Got your lovely card, thank you so much!! Happy holidays in your new home!!

Heather said...

Oh, Tammy, my heart goes out to you. This was a tough year for you, but you made it! I hope that one day you'll be able to look back on 2009 with the knowledge of "so that's why that happened!".

2009 was a fairly calm year for our family. I like calm. I'm hoping for another year like it. And while I'm at it, I hope 2010 is a CALM year for you.

Wendy said...

Tammy -- beautifully written. Yes, we had a difficult year, too. John said he is going to open the door at midnight and personally kick 2009 out!(I'll be helping)

We have hopes that things will be better in 2010. The same hopes and wishes for you! Here's to a kindlier dozen!

A poem I found for you and I:

And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,
And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -

Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.

~Thomas Hood