Monday, August 31, 2009

Grandma Jean

My mom lived 5 hours away when we lived in Utah and we managed to go see her about twice a year. Since we are now an additional 5 hours away jumping in the car to go for a visit is a major undertaking, but one that we are now more apt to do. You see in the midst of packing up my home after the initial move to Idaho in June, we are slightly annoyed with this inconvenience and life is somewhat not too pleasant right now, but we have to go where the job is - that is the short and long of it. Along with all this turmoil, there has been an undercurrent of stress; my sweet mom, Grandma Jean, has been having health issues and ones that are not easily fixed by proceedures.
Today, we got the news that her time is now limited to months and I am in shock........ I have to deal with the realization that I will soon not be able to call her on the phone and talk to her, to ask her how to start the yarn on the needles when I forget it, that all my memories are going to go with her. I am finding that I wish that we had gone down more before this wake up call. I am finding that things that seemed so important before are not and that I need to get my family moved and settled so I can go and spend time with my mom. I am finding that relationships are more important then where I live, or if half our house is in storage, or that my life is not as rosy as I wish it to be. I am finding that it is the people that are in this journey called life with me, the people that I call family, friend, child, that hold my life, my love in their hands - that has suddenly taken on much more meaning to me.
I love you Mom!


Jennifer P. said...

oh...I am soooo sorry! I remember what this felt like...the time frame being laid down. In some ways it's easier because there's still, well, time--but you can never really prepare yourself fully for losing your mom. If you need anything or someone to talk to--PLEASE let me know. I am praying for you in the midst of this trying time in life and sending love your way too.

Elena said...

Oh Queenie...I'm so sorry. You have just been through the ringer lately. I have not lost a parent yet, but I can imagine that heart sick feeling you are having. Hang in there and enjoy all the time you can with her. Thinking of you!

Busy Lady said...

You know I am here for you no matter what! I am only going to be a short drive away and if you need something please call me and I will be right there. I am so sorry that this is happening, life has not been good to you lately. Make some memories with your mom and write down everything you can about her life. You are in my prayers every day. I love you, you are my best friend!!!

pawlyandsandy said...

My sister-in-law told a story in her talk on Sunday about faith. She told a story about a boy and his mother. The mother was embroidering and the boy looks up at her from playing on the floor and asks what she's doing and that it really looks messy from where he's sitting. She explains that she's embroidering and that if he went to play then came back after a while she'd show him what it looked like on her side from her lap---this is like Heavenly Father embroidering our lives. Sometimes we look up and think, boy this is a mess, but if we have Faith that after a while we'll sit on his lap and see the beautiful side of the embroidering then we can make it through the messy parts of life.

I KNOW Heavenly Father loves you and he knows you and he is putting these less than ideal situations in your life for a reason. To learn, to grow, to cling to him for support.

Much love for you and your mom. :)

Heather said...

Tammy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know we live in expectation of losing our parents in the vague "someday" of life, but when it becomes a reality, it's just so hard to bear.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

John Deere Mom said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of you during this sad and stressful time.

Melanie said...

Oh, what very real moments you are having! Fortunately, you have eyes that can truly see the important things in life and a heart to do something about it.

Life is busy, but I feel lucky, as I'm sure you do, to have had a mom that I can call. A mom whom no matter what I learn I still love and need. Don't you think it helps us understand how we can be together forever and grateful we want to be!

Moms are the best! She's lucky to have you during this tender time for her. *hugs*