Thursday, May 22, 2008

Things that make you go EEEEKKK!!!!!!

I will be the first person to admit that I HATE snakes!!
The very idea that they slither, and slide across the ground just makes me want to find a place to crawl into and hide.


I came home from work late and went to kiss my "babies" good night. "Drama Queen" was waiting for me.

"Mom!"

"What Honey?"

"We got a pet."

"Really...?"

We have no pets, in fact my efforts to talk "the man" into a dog have been for not.

"What pet would that be?"

"We found a snake! It is so cool mom, we made it a bed and took it for a ride and tomorrow I am gonna feed it."

Feeling my skin begin to crawl, but ever the supportive Mom.

"That is great Honey, now go to sleep......A, um, you did wash your hands right?"
So I come down from kissing them and hearing all about the new pet to "the man" who is waiting to show me our new pet. Luckily for me it has escaped and is somewhere slithering happily far away from our home, much to my husbands disappointment. He loves to watch me WIG OUT!
Next day. I decide that it is time to mow the lawn since it is going to seed. I begin by trimming - in my bare feet. YES, I know that is really dumb, but I hate shoes!!! So I am trimming along and take one step in some really long grass and there he is.......the new pet. I let out a death-curtling-scream. This of course falls on deaf ears as my kids are over at the neighbors home. So I run/walk in my bare feet over to get my kids so they can save their whimpy Mom.
Ring-ring-knock-knock! Door slowly opens...........
"Where are my kids, I need the kids to come home and get their pet!!!"
Cute little neighbor girl. "What pet, you got a pet?"
Drama Queen really annoyed that I am there. "Mom, we don't want to come home."

"You will get home right now and get your pet out of my yard!!!"

"Snakey! Snakey is back?"

"YES!!!"
So my kids, Maddie down the street, and all my neighbors kids, 4 to be exact- come pouring out of the house to come see Snakey. Of course when they get there, no snake. He is gone and I am standing there a fool.

"Mom, are you sure that he was here?"

"YES! I will come and get you if I see him again."

Off they all go, back to play and await Snakey's next apperance which did not take too long. First time around the yard with the lawn mower, Snakey decides to make his apperance. That was it, me or the snake. Luckily for them my kids were coming in the back door or he was going to see what my mower does to stray things.

"Mom, do not mow Snakey!!!"
"Then come get him cause it is either me or the snake."


So as I mow, my kids happily play with Snakey, loving him, putting him around their necks and using the cut grass to make him a nice home in the wagon.

When it is time for Maddie to go home we let her take "Snakey" to show what fun things you get to play with at our house. Her parents were less then thrilled.

Out there, somewhere in my vast yard, there is a snake - Snakey. I am sure that he does a very good job eating bugs. I am sure that he does have a purpose other than scaring me. I know that at some point I might have to resolve my issues with him, although I am sure that he is unaware of any issues between us. But for now I would be quite content to just have him venture into anothers yard and find a safe refuge there, but that is not the way of my life. Once plagued I know that I will be visited yet again by our snakey friend.

Anyone want a snake?

6 comments:

Aubrey said...

Ack, that gives me the heebie-jeebies, just thinking about it. I don't think that you want to crawl into a hole to hide, because what if something else (closely related to Snakey) already has?

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I would have mowed it, but then I think I'd have been sick if snake guts had splattered on me.

Anonymous said...

EWW!!! I don't want to see snakey
love,
Meghan cleverly

pawlyandsandy said...

LOL, about Aubrey mowing the snake!
Wow you're little girl is not little anymore, she's beautiful! She's so different from the times I used to babysit. Time flies eh? I'd like to think I'd be ok with a snake, but realistically, I think I'd react just like you! Thanks for the great story!

Kate said...

I laughed and laughed- probably because I could hear you telling the story and could imagine the faces you'd pull!

Good luck with snakey and hope that he's a bachelor!

Jennifer P. said...

We had a snake that always seemed to make his appearance when I'd start the lawnmower too. Glad I didn't mow over him--becuase that would have been pretty gross--but glad too that none of the boys ever wanted him for a pet :)! I'd say just let him go in your yard and wait for him to have lots and lots of snake babies....

Emily Loria said...

Oh man, my Josh wants a snake so bad and he's even picked out a name for him

"clover"

Kind of funny for a snake if you ask me. I don't think he will ever get one! What if the blasted thing got out of it's cage, that would be my luck too!