Monday, August 4, 2008

A Road Map to Where?

Do you ever feel that life would be so much simpler if there was a specific map, a plan that you were destined to follow, a way to ensure that you reached your destination as planned? For the last year I have felt adrift, lost in my life, not really
certain that the road that our family is taking is the best one for it.
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We have moved several times in our 13 years - at last count we have had seven different addresses in 2 different states. We move, and at times I feel like I have gypsy blood running through me, calling me to places that have yet to be discovered. Our last home we were in for 4 years, by far the longest, it was hard to go and leave friends that were more then that - they were family. We moved to be closer to my husbands job so we would see him more. Two months after the move he got transferred back to where we had just moved from. Now he commutes 2 hours a day, just in the opposite direction.
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At times like that you wonder what was it all for?
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I have been asking that question this whole year.
What was it we were supposed to learn?
Was there someone we were meant to meet?
What, and why are a daily mantra.
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Why do I talk about this?
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I guess at times I really wish that there was a definite plan to follow, I want someone other than me to make the really big decisions. I want to know that everything is going to work out just right, with everyone being healthy and happy and sane, especially me.
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But that is where my compass fails me........It will not tell me what to do, or what decision will bring less trauma. It can only tell me which way North is on the road that I choose to trod, the rocks, the trees and the sky are up to me to see and explore.

9 comments:

Elena said...

Isn't that the truth?! I want a compass and road map too. Would you consider moving again? What a bummer that your hubby got transferred.

momof3azkids said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I LOVED my visit to Utah this year. I really liked this post. I have very similar feelings. We are "alone" in AZ for hubby's work, our families are in Utah. We miss them, but can't make a move in that direction, due to the state of the economy. We're just floating...waiting...CRAZY!

Karen :)

Kate said...

I too wish that someone else would take care of those big decisions and let me worry about the fun and not so major ones. I often feel like I am in a rut- when I shake things up they seem to go okay for a while and then that becomes the rut. Hummm... perhaps it's just my way of thinking. Today has not been a glass half full kind of day. Therefore ruts are on the brain. However, there is always a tomorrow with no mistakes in it yet. (Have a little Anne of Green Gables to end your day!)

John Deere Mom said...

I am so thankful to have been in the same place since getting married. I have no desire to move and short of building or buying a new house in the same town, never plan to go anywhere! Hope you get that same stability and plan soon.

Ronald said...

this is is a test comment.

Ronald said...

here we go again

"The Queen in Residence" said...

E- We currently have our house on the market and so yes I would move again, but the big question is to where? I feel like a family without a country, where do we belong.

Karen- When we lived out of state we missed the family badly too, but we also made friends that we now miss just as much. It is those times out of state that we remember as being the best of our married lives.

Kate- I love Anne of Green Gables, and I try to live by that mantra, but when you are feeling like the last move you made was the biggest mistake it is hard to not be in the rut. I hope that you get out of yours soon, too.

John Deere Mom- I am so envious of you, to have roots in one place for so long. I envy that so much. I just pray that I will have that same stability soon in my life.

Okay Parents of mine - we have had 2 test comments now it is time to get the real ones up here. I'll be waiting!

The Motherboard said...

umm. Hellooo! This could totally be me! We have been married 14 years and have had 6 different addresses 1500 miles apart!! I often times find myself wondering if we made the right choice this last time to move too. Did we do the right thing? I dunno. All I know is we are here, so now the trick is to MAKE this the right choice.

I love this post because I also wish I could find that magic compass and road map that would tell me everything I needed to know, where I needed to be, and what was expected of me.

This whole agency thing is tricky... I know I must have "voted" for it, but having everything spelled out for me sure would have been easier! Ya know?

Great post!!

pawlyandsandy said...

I think part of this life's 'experience' is to make the tough decision with prayerful consideration. If I didn't love the ward we were in at our last apt. I would have really been asking myself the same questions. If we had known about my husband's program in ID we could have moved up here last year and been really settled into jobs, but then again, maybe we wouldn't have found the great deal on our apt. It's hard to judge. But I DO know that the Lord love us and is concerned about our concerns and with His help we can lead our family to the right places at the right times. I hope your house sells, and you get that job you applied for! I'll remember you in my prayers.