Do you ever feel that life would be so much simpler if there was a specific map, a plan that you were destined to follow, a way to ensure that you reached your destination as planned? For the last year I have felt adrift, lost in my life, not really
certain that the road that our family is taking is the best one for it.
We have moved several times in our 13 years - at last count we have had seven different addresses in 2 different states. We move, and at times I feel like I have gypsy blood running through me, calling me to places that have yet to be discovered. Our last home we were in for 4 years, by far the longest, it was hard to go and leave friends that were more then that - they were family. We moved to be closer to my husbands job so we would see him more. Two months after the move he got transferred back to where we had just moved from. Now he commutes 2 hours a day, just in the opposite direction.
At times like that you wonder what was it all for?
I have been asking that question this whole year.
What was it we were supposed to learn?
Was there someone we were meant to meet?
What, and why are a daily mantra.
Why do I talk about this?
I guess at times I really wish that there was a definite plan to follow, I want someone other than me to make the really big decisions. I want to know that everything is going to work out just right, with everyone being healthy and happy and sane, especially me.
But that is where my compass fails me........It will not tell me what to do, or what decision will bring less trauma. It can only tell me which way North is on the road that I choose to trod, the rocks, the trees and the sky are up to me to see and explore.